How “Cannes” I Put It in a Few Words?

THE PREPARATIONS

For many who work in the film industry or in any field that touches upon it (as is the case with me), May is the month of re-visiting your wardrobe, doing a round of the free trials offered by the gyms in your area, generally the month of a late start of a much needed overhaul. Grey hairs covered – checked. What grey hairs?!? Eyebrows shaped – checked. Removing any sign of your ever being in touch with your masculine side, basically your slight “mustache” – checked. A facial while you’re at it, why not? That still leaves the big W: your wardrobe.

In case you wonder why May, well, that is when everybody who’s anybody in the world behind and in front of the camera heads to the Cannes Film Festival. Oh the glamour, the mixture of class and kitsch, the buzz of it all! One thing is sure for most of us though: Cannes is the one place where you’ll be wearing your most elegant black number (it usually comes down to a choice of black dresses with few other colours getting a chance).

ONCE YOU ARE THERE – PART ONE THE WORK

You get to Cannes. You do your behind-the-scene hectic work, reminding yourself that it might be tiring and at times repetitive, but running up and down the Croisette still beats sitting down all day in front of the computer in an office reminiscent of its previous use, a hospital. This small but world famous place is as much about the business of selling film rights as it is about glamour and stars.

Hectic and tiring it may be, but you have to make darn sure that you do all the running around dressed in your best attire. Casual in Cannes is a costly affair. The Cannes look involves expensive linen items, so Primark will have to take a step back (don’t worry, I will return). That place demands more from your look in two weeks than London ever will in a lifetime. Cannes is also extremely demanding of one’s social skills. While back home it will be years before you bump into someone in the street, that changes in Cannes. From the moment you arrive until you get on the plane to come back, you are constantly bumping into people you know, you want to know, people who know you and whom you don’t remember. You are also constantly surrounded by your work colleagues, many of whom are friends, but with whom you would maybe not choose to spend so much time back home. In that way I suppose the situation is no different from other trade fairs.

ONCE YOU ARE THERE – PART TWO THE FILM AND THE RED CARPET EXPERIENCE

The evenings are good. If you are lucky and want to make your presence at the Festival worth your while, you take to the red carpet to the premiere of some film you A) may have always wanted to see or B) you wouldn’t otherwise pay to see in the cinema. It largely depends on your luck on the night, in other words on the free invites that come your way. My red carpet events range from Nurse Betty to Shrek II via Matrix II. And yes, I am not going to be all blase and fake indifference towards the plethora of actors, directors and writers that unfold before your very eyes when attending a red carpet event. It is most definitely a unique cinematic experience..
Equally important though is your moment on that red carpet. Lights, camera, action: up those stairs you walk feeling a million dollars. To the left and the right of the red carpet you can catch the humming of hundreds of photographers and passers by, all looking straight to where you are or through you in the hope of a Cameron or a Keira. Not sure I would like to be in the spotlight like that for real, day in day out. God, the pressure of no privacy would drive me mad… Just as well that I am from the very-behind-the-camera crowd and a snippet of pseudo-celebrity will do me just fine, thank you very much.
Once the slow-mo walk up the famous stairs in the Palais de Festival is done, you are in essence an over-dressed cinema goer with the added bonus of maybe brushing shoulders with Al or Woody if they happen to be attending that same premiere.

THE AFTER FILM PARTY

The film starts and ends, you hopefully enjoy it, the talent comes on stage afterwards and you all clap with varying degrees of sincerity. Then comes a possibly even more exciting time of the experience: the after film party.
Less and less distributors organize the massive after-film parties they used to throw in the early 90’s. Nonetheless, every year you get to attend a bash thrown in honour of some high profile production. These parties happen in two main locations: by the sea or on the grounds of glamorous villas up in the hills of Cannes. I prefer the second category.

What you do after the film is go to a pick-up point where buses await for the guests to jump on and be taken to the villa. The atmoshpere is all round jolly. Yet again, you are bound to bump into someone you know and even vague acquaintances start showing promising friendship potential in the euphoria leading up to a good night. Once you get past the scary bouncers you are “on the other side”. Everyone is elegant and in a good mood, the music flows and so do the drinks. Not much food unless you are willing to queue for hours at the buffet areas, which loses its appeal after a while. You dance and smile and meet and greet and even if it’s work and your real mates aren’t there, you don’t feel that what you are doing is working. I, for one, love this perk of the job. Occasionally, you have to contain yourself from throwing idolizing glances in the direction of mega-celebrities who pass you by in a casual manner. You have to act cool…

These parties are about networking, I suppose. It is actually surprising how much gets done in that apparently informal and relaxed environment. The conversations you often overhear are revealing the 24/7 nature of this business: “ I have a script I would like you to look at”. “ I think I have a big star line-up for my next production. I can’t tell you who just yet” ( probably because they themselves don’t know yet….); “I am setting up this fund for film financing”
Unlike a “real party” you have to keep your wits about you a bit more, but not as much as you’d think.

The next day starts with its 8am meeting, you chit chat about the fun ( or lackthereof as it may be the case) during the night before and then head for pretty much the same pattern. For at least ten days.

Is this in line with how you envisaged Le Festival?